Why is it ok? Why do we allow ourselves to continue making it ok? Don’t get me wrong I used to do it too and it wasn’t until our loss did it have an impact on me. That still doesn’t make it ok though. I can single handily name each time over the past two years that someone made a reference to suicide in a joking manner. I remember not because there are only a few instances but I remember because each time it happens it is permanently etched into my brain… the motions they make, the instant gut wrenching feeling, the thought of when I got the call… I remember because suicide is the life I live now. I don’t expect you to understand, I am thankful you don’t, but what I do expect is that you stop doing it. I expect that when you hear someone do it you take that as an opportunity to correct them.
Sunday we decided to watch a family movie. Kellen had never seen Home Alone and we thought he was the perfect age to watch and find it funny. What we didn’t realize is the suicide reference in it. Immediately Wes and I look at each other with disgust and inwardly cringe that Kellen doesn’t ask what that word is. To our knowledge he doesn’t know what suicide is, he doesn’t know what it means and he doesn’t know that Hudson ended his own life.
In 1990 in a child’s movie rated PG it references the child “committing suicide”. It just makes me wonder if a PG kid movie was released today would they allow that, sadly I think they would. What is even sadder? If they included it they wouldn’t also include resources or ways to get help.
Until we can end the stigma people will continue to hide their illness. We can’t continue making suicide a joke because I am here to tell you it is not funny. The death of our child is the saddest most depressing horrible thing that can happen to parents. So please stop making fun of it.